2014-08-12 - 2:14 a.m.
True conversation:
Clara, my cat: you are having a heart attack, sit down.
Me: no, I just ate a really big sandwich n have to go to the bathroom now.
Clara: well, u have to sit down for that...
Me: ok fine, but u can't get on my lap cuz I am on the toilet.
Clara: so?
Me: fine. But now I have to wipe...
Clara: omg I am dying, lemme outta here right now.
Me: hang on, I have to wipe, flush, n wash my hands.
Clara: I am dying. & U are still having a heart attack, btw. Just fyi. Hurry up, lemme outta here.
Me: I can't touch the doorknob til i wash my hands.
Clara: ...
Me: ok u can go out now.
Clara: u need to sit down again so I can get on your lap n make your heart attack go away.
Me: I am not sure that is how it works...
But in any case, I feel better now. N yes, my cat talks. In my head, we talk to each other. Just deal with it.
