2005-07-28 - 10:51 a.m.
THIS is why I always fantasize about moving away. My sister �okay. I have two sisters. One is 11 years older than me and she is the one that works downtown and has two boys who are 11 and 14. They are the cool nephews. Then, there is my OTHER sister�the one we call Kim the Baptist. (I hope your family isn�t Baptist.) Kim drives me frigging crazy on a lot of different levels. I barely talk to her if I can get away with it. I mean, we get along, per se�but we don�t agree on a whole lot. That�s why I keep away from her. See, I�m going to a United Methodist church and I�m not real strict about it. The family was Catholic and did all the Catholic school and crap until my father came along�and once I was born, he wouldn�t let my mother baptize me. Which was good and bad, I guess. Good, because I wasn�t stuck in Catholicism, yet bad because I could have used some kind of saving of my hedonist little soul while I was growing up�haha. Anyway�Kim was a pot smoker and she was the one that had me listening to rock and roll and she moved her boyfriend in when she was only 17�right into the house we lived in with my mother under one roof and everything! Well, it was an apartment. Of course, my father and mother divorced when I was 8 years old or so and so that would make her 15. She would never have been able to have him live there if my father was still hanging about. And that was their stepfather, by the way.
So, suddenly, she gets married and then divorce�and then she meets this guy�but not necessarily in that order, blah, blah, blah�anyway she�s still a pot smoker�and this is all about nine years ago. Right? So�suddenly, she marries again and I don�t know when or why, but they started �saving themselves� and going to this Baptist church in Cape Coral. Then they drag my mother too. Then, Lisa, the tolerable sister starts going and they can�t understand why I refuse to go. There was just something about their �reform� that bugged the shit out of me. So, nowadays, Lisa the tolerable sister has switched churches because the Baptists� judgmental ways just blow everything out of proportion. You can find her hanging out these days at some normal Christian church.
So anyway�Kim the Baptist. She was getting into health food stuff also, kind of due to me working in a health food store part time when I was 18 and 19. I turned my family on to all things natural and the vitamins and teas and even the cleaning products�and then I backed off from it becuz it was too damn expensive anyway. So, she had also gone to school for massage therapy which I thought was my ticket to heaven, having a sister who could massage me for free�but anyway all that has changed since she has become Baptist. For crying out loud! She drives me nuts. She reads all those Baptist childrearing books�and I�ll admit I could use some pointers, but I�d rather read Dr. Phil, you know? So, then...I have Stephanie�and then I have Chloe and then I�m going to have Jimmy. She had NO kids at the time and would call me and tell me that I needed to read so-and-so�s book about putting the kids on a schedule, even the newborn. COME ON. I don�t even like schedules if I can help it. You know? So, actually she was pregnant at the same time I was, but she had hers first. Nicolas was born in January and Jimmy is a July man. Anyway�SUDDENLY she�s the expert mother. She gets �carpal tunnel syndrome� without a doctor actually telling her so, and suddenly she can no longer give massages. I hate her for that. LOL.
No, but she just pushes her thoughts and ideals on us and we are kind of irritated by her. The latest is the whole situation with my mother. We call Kim the sugar police because she has literally changed my mother�s whole diet and routine as far as health and nutrition goes. I mean, my mother was diagnosed three fucking times. So, I am pretty willing to accept that she has ALS and that there is no cure for it. I�m ready to make things as comfortable for her as possible and to have fun with her until she can�t enjoy life anymore. Not Kim. She has her going to a holistic doctor who has told her she doesn�t have ALS. She presses my mother to eat and drink nothing unless it�s been deemed extremely healthy in the sense that it is either a) organic b) all natural or c) tasteless and providing absolutely no joy in life. Milk is not allowed anymore. Do you know why? Because it produces phlegm and that�s why kids get coughs. She doesn�t want my mother refilling her plastic water gallon jugs because the plastic is being leached out by the water and it�s toxic. YEAH, OKAY. She doesn�t even want my mother using the ice cube trays for the same plastic-leaching reason. Sorry, but some things just irk me about her. She thinks I�m totally secular and I sort of am. I don�t like Christian music�I think music should be an outlet�not remind you of what sins you have done. Her kids drive me and my other sister nuts. They even know about the plastic-leaching thing and will lecture people about it. She does Bible study every morning with them. Now she has 3 sons�Jonathan was born a few months ago. He too will become a Baptist victim.
