2004-06-11 - 11:40 p.m.
Where do I begin? My back and neck started hurting Sunday or Monday but only at night/late afternoon, right? So, Tuesday night I get to school and I purposely bought ibuprofen on the way and then totally forgot it in the bag with my kids� food at the night time daycare. Total bummer, cuz I wasn�t going back home and the headache was awful. Then, Wednesday, I get this burning band across my stomach. It feels very uncomfortable to the point where I always frigging feel hungry. WTF? So, I eat, and eat, and eat. I am not satiated whatsoever. Thursday, I get worried, cuz now I just don�t feel right. I go to my sliding-scale-fee-clinic. I tell them about my neck and head and back and mention that, oh yeah, my legs go numb (w/pins & needles) a lot. I explain that that has been going on for a few months. They ask me if I�ve ever been in an accident. Oh, dear. So, then they ignore my back and neck and head pain cuz it only happens in the afternoons and evenings so then they ask about my stomach. Then, I was also there to get my urine re-checked�ohmigod�
I forgot to tell you! I stopped (before going to the clinic) at Winn-Dixie and mind you, this is all going on in North Fort Myers, right? �Hicktown.� So, I was walking around the aisles cuz it was morning time and my hunger pangs had not been satisfied since the night before, right? So, I get a water bottle and start walking around thinking I�ll get fruit from the produce section. I pass by an aisle and glance down it and am astonished. I wished I had a camera on me. But, then, I totally would have exploited the carnival culture. Dude! You have no idea! There was a family down the one aisle. There was a black man, and then the mom was a redheaded midget woman and they had two kids with them that were mixed midgetized children. I was so astonished. Where have they been all my life? NOW, I�ve seen everything!
Then, it dawned on me. What if that�s true love? What if it takes going out on a limb and finding the exact opposite of you and then you have assured happiness? In my case, I need to find a black midget man and have children with him. WTF? I mean, they obviously have true love with each other or he has a real mean midget fetish. First of all, they were out in public together. Second of all, they had TWO children with them that were definitely THEIRS and definitely old enough to have been altogether in the relationship. Third of all, he was grocery shopping with her, seriously, and I don�t think it was so she could reach the high shelves anymore. Actually, it probably really really helps for him to come along, with her being a midget and all. But, anyway.
So, they (the clinic, not the midget/mixed family) are asking me about my stomach at the clinic and I knew the inevitable was coming especially when they had me get up on the table. I laid down and sure enough he pounded on every dimension of my abdomen. OUCH. Seriously, everywhere he pounded, I was all, OUCH, YOU VIBRATED THE PAINED SPOT! Oh, and they had no clue what I meant when I said it feels like I�m hungry all the time. So, my LUQ (left upper quadrant) where my stomach and spleen and pancreas hang out to enjoy their summer vacation�is way pained especially when he pounds on it. OUCH. So, they have taken blood from me which came back today and is negative for everything. But they sent me on another excursion which was to get a chest x-ray cuz basically, the worst case scenario is that I have a perforated ulcer and there is escaped free air floating around somewhere where it shouldn�t be.
Which, let me explain, my body is the type that gets a kidney infection before I ever know I had a bladder infection. In medical research, it is almost always bladder infection before kidney infection. So, when I told the doctor I didn�t have an ulcer or signs of any that I KNOW of, he said, that well, you could have gotten a perforated ulcer before knowing you had an ulcer.
So, I had to borrow the money from my mom ($27) cuz they wanted it up front before they would �do� the x-ray. So, I called her to ask her for assistance cuz I don�t get paid till the 18th and I only have $21 till then. Yeah, I know, woes of me. So, after she lectured me about: the price of gas to come get it, how I should have health insurance by now and she can�t believe I don�t get child support and why doesn�t anyone ever help you and how come you aren�t full time yet, and you are going to waste all that money in tolls and how on earth if you can�t pay for an x-ray that�s $27 are you going to pay that payday loan back next week? So, yeah, after I hung up, I thought: �Well, if I do have an ulcer, I know who gave it to me. My mother and Jimbo.� But she did help me.
Seriously, though. My neck is killing me something fierce. Oh yeah! And they checked my urine and they only had the smaller dipsticks. But those still show the leukocytes (white blood cells that are a sign of your body FIGHTING infection) so they compared the numbers to my previous urine test from three weeks ago that showed I DID have a bladder infection and required medicine, and they said, �WOW, YOUR LEUKOCYTES ARE TONS MORE COMPARED TO LAST TIME.� So�yeah. I�m thinking, ok, something is definitely wrong cuz if last time it was semi-bad and they gave me medicine, now, it�s double bad and I�m definitely getting something. Well, the doctor didn�t frigging know they only had the shorter dipsticks. He was more focused on my stomach pain SIMPLY cuz I said I don�t get burning when I urinate (and that means nothing in my body, cuz I don�t burn when I pee even during an infection). I told him that they only had the smaller dipsticks and they said they couldn�t check everything. So, then when I got my blood drawn, ---oh, I forgot to add there was a student doctor, 3rd year medical student in the whole time---the student doctor was reading my thyroid panel from three weeks ago and I asked �hey, you know, what about my urine? Am I going to get an antibiotic?� He asked the other doctor who came down and said there�s no sign of infection and I said, yeah, but you should check for the other measurements and stuff. So, the nurse said, oh, here�s the longer dipsticks, they just came in. So, she dips it, and I get hopeful�
So, then the doctor said something about not sending the urine away and the nurse dumped out my urine and threw the dipstick in the garbage. I said, wait, what did the dipstick say? She said, �oh, it wasn�t finished reading yet. Doesn�t matter, he�s not interested in it.� I said, �WELL, I AM. IF MY LEUKOCYTES ARE WAY HIGHER THAN WHEN I HAD AN INFECTION THAT NEEDED TREATING THREE WEEKS AGO, THEN I WANT MY URINE CHECKED.� So, they made me pee again. Luckily, I was downing water like crazy, so I had it in me. So, it is stinky again and cloudy and such. So, I said all that to the doctor about the leukocytes and he said, �fine, we�ll do a culture.� This was to a new nurse and the old nurse came up and saw her and said �what are you doing? He said he didn�t want a culture!� Oh, yes, he did, biotch. So. Duh. They still didn�t give me any medication for anything and I don�t understand it. I still have that sensation. It feels like grinding in my stomach like the worst hunger pangs, even while I�m eating and have eaten. So, we�ll see what my x-ray says and the urine test.
Oh, and the student doctor was being quizzed in front of me and the doctor was like, �so, what would you do to test her?� And the student doctor is really thorough, but too too thorough for sliding-scale-fee-clinic-doctor and when the student doctor said: �Well, I�d start with an upper GI?� The clinic doctor said no, that he was jumping the gun and that bloodwork would be fine for now. Well, I have news for them. If I wind up in the hospital this weekend, I have a medical malpractice claim against their asses. I�d rather have a barium swallow and find out what the hell is wrong at the source then have all these goofy bloodworks and x-rays done alone. I think ALL the tests should be done. What�s next? An ultrasound? Geez. How much is that going to cost?
Oh, and I was talking to the janitor (apparently more qualified than trained medical professionals) and I told him my symptoms about the hunger pangs and I asked him if that made sense, and he said YES. He had that feeling too when he had an ulcer. So, A-HA! Then he also mentioned that his friend got winded going upstairs and I thought, �hey, I get winded when I go up my stairs.� That�s me for ya. Not realizing that all these things wrong that I blame on other things are health problems that I have no idea need to be looked at. And since I obviously feel minimized pain, I get sick when it�s kinda far-gone. Not far-gone, but you know, after I�ve been sick for some time. Man. So, yeah�I guess I just have to wait and see.
