2004-06-03 - 12:41 p.m.
Boy, do I reeealllllly need to start writing new stories. I mean, if my dream is to be a published writer, then what the hell am I waiting for? I just sit there and think, �yeah, I really should be writing new stories.� And that�s about as far as my motivation leads to �organization.� Zip, zero, zilch. Do you see any new stories in my repertoire? NO. That�s cuz I�m a fucking slacker.
At 3 p.m., we have that meeting so that they can tell me if the 5,000 meetings they had over the last month or so have amounted to me going full time or not. I think I am but I think there are going to be severe strings attached. I don�t feel very comfortable with anything that might or might not be said. I don�t like meetings. Heck, I don�t like working! I don�t deserve the career world. It�s not my type. Kmmm.
My feet smell like bad Fritos breath. That will be good for the meeting. Cuz I know I�m not the only one that can smell it. I will update, actually, I will add to this later after the meeting is over with. Pshaw. I don�t want to have a meeting. Why can�t they just send me an email? Cuz they want to see my facial reaction instead? Gag.
Okay...I�m going to go eat my lunch for now. I�ll be back.
Well, it�s the next day. The above was written yesterday. Today is now Thursday here in Florida. I have school tonight. So, yesterday, we had our meeting. Lame. We now have a �target date� for when I can start going full time but that is only relying upon the fact that we need to start working more. If you ask me, I don�t wanna fucking work more. But, who am I? I also didn�t want a fucking target date. Can you say disgruntled? Can you say monster.com? Just kidding...for now. Seriously, I wanted to start full time as soon as possible. I don�t think the bigger workload should come before the full time status. Do you? No, you don�t.
Just so you know, a Jose Perez does not a black female make. I was entering names into the card file of who wasn�t going to be signed on as clients and my hand went nutty on the mouse for a second causing me to mis-click and the above name was categorized as a black girl. No. I changed it to �Other� Male. I mean, the world knows he�s probably Spanish with a name like that, but we can�t just guess now can we? And since it�s even poorer policy to come right out and ask a person, that�s why we have �other� as an option. Besides, we have no shades of gray in our card file. You�re either black, white or other.
You know I say I need to write more, but I am constantly writing journal entries these days. So that counts.
I need to eat something.
I also need to find time to do my homework. I have a lot of things to take care of.
And I still can�t believe my kids have field trips to go to everyday. Parks, wildlife refuges, ice skating, roller skating, pools, etc. My goodness. What a very busy summer indeed. They are doing more than I have ever done really. I haven�t gone to a different fun-filled place two plus months straight in a row. Never. I had very boring, docile summers as a kid. I had no complaints though. I liked reading and I had no problem staying home while my mom was at work. That was the fun part. I wasn�t getting into trouble while she wasn�t there, I just could lay around and watch TV or read without her nagging me to do dumb stuff like clean or eat. That�s the only part I miss about being a kid. The zero responsibility part. But then again, I did have other responsibilities like babysitting jobs, worrying about friends not liking me, trying to get more music to listen to, trying to get boys to like me, you know, stuff. I had a weird teenage-hood though. There�s no need to mention my depression and visit to the mental hospital here.
I�m at work. Ruthann is getting her teeth done again (oral surgery). I�m bored, but content. I don�t want work necessarily. I just want to be left alone. I have so much homework to do really. I really should eat something. I don�t feel like going home. Maybe I can splurge on Grandy�s. I know, gross. I like their chicken fried steak and gravy on their mashed potatoes. So yucky, I mean yummy, I mean, ewwww. Today, my rent is officially late. Plus, I still haven�t paid that payday loan back yet. It is due tomorrow. I get paid tomorrow but most of it was supposed to go for my rent. I�m so screwed. I�m screwed on a weekly basis. Should I go splurge on Grandy�s anyway? Or should I waste gas and go home and eat a bowl of cereal? Hem, haul.
