2004-05-12 - 11:58 p.m.
Oh my god. Look how delicious my computer is now. I reinstalled Microsoft Word. Oh god. It�s so fucking cute. I have not had any word processing programs/options on my lame-ass computer for over a fucking year now. Sighhhhhh. I even have the little orange kitty as the �office assistant� you know, but becuz my settings are still fucked up, he looks all white with red inside of his ears. Oh well. God. Who cares? I can finally type my stuff on my computer now. I can get back to my stories and book if I so wish. Which I do so wish. This is so damn great. Okay. So�
I have to renew my lease this month. At first the warning on the door scared me, cuz I had to get assistance with my rent this month. So, I�m thinking, uh-oh. My landlord wants to know why I�m such a poor loser finally and why the rent is always late. But I looked closely on the paper and it said I just needed to verify that I was working, not the amount of income and that I needed to do this by the 31st so they could know whether or not I was going to renew the lease. Which I am. I just have to check and make sure they can do it for half a year as opposed to a full year. I�m not sure. Anyway. I plan on seeing how things go with my boyfriend and maybe if all the legal matters are cleared up then we will move somewhere together. Everything is going to have circumstances and plans though. There are many factors that depend on one another.
I also don�t know whether to even bother with my dumb job anymore. I mean, yeah, I�m bothering to go to work everyday. However�I am looking elsewhere cuz I�m not full time yet and it�s been almost a year (in July will be a full year) and if they aren�t going to make me full time then tell me so! I like having my own desk and my own computer and my own Internet access. I like being on the other side of the office, away from my bosses with only one other person in my department that shares my workload and who plays computer games more than I do�no pressure there. But, I really have to find something that has more ambition for me. Like raises. I haven�t gotten a raise either. When does the normal person get raises anyway? Every six months? After their first ninety days? Nope, not me. Nada. So, needless to say, I apply elsewhere from time to time, but regretfully have not gotten hired anywhere.
I have goals though. Like, you know how I�m going to school? Well, there�s a reason for that. It�s the �Medical Skills Office Program� and we graduate in November. I�m doing VERY well. Thank you, thank you. I got a 102% on my first test. Then, we took a pre-test yesterday (Tuesday) and the real test is Thursday, tomorrow, but I got a 98% on the pre-test. Now, if this were college, the professor would let me not have to take the real test cuz I had done so well. But, this is not college. It�s Government Cheese Funded Class and so even though I kick ass with my memorization skills of medical terminology (our first corps class we are taking), I still have to join everyone else and take the test. It�s so painful too, sitting there and the way we go over the homework and answer by answer with one person to answer each separate answer. And there are about 15 people in the class, only now I think it�s dwindled down to 14 or 13. Already. Slackers. So, each separate person gets their own separate question while we go over the homework�and the homework usually has like 50-something or more questions on it. PAINFUL. I can�t stand that. Especially when every damn person in there cannot pronounce or spell anything. It�s very dreadful. I mean, whom the fuck goes through their whole life and reaches 26 or so in age and doesn�t know or acts like they�ve never heard of a fucking �hemorrhage?� WHO? Losers, slackers. That�s who.
Yes, I�m very impatient with stupid people. It�s one thing to come to a class straight out of working at a gas station and not know things, but read the fucking chapter. Don�t get called on and say: �Oh, I didn�t get that one.� Cuz you better believe, I do all my fucking work, answer all my homework questions, make A�s and oh, don�tcha know, I�m the only one in the whole class that has THREE kids. Everyone else has two or one. And I�M the one who always answers the questions. What�s up with that? Plus, I work almost full time hours; I have no man at home to help me with crap. Yeah, who�s the fucking ruler of the Government Cheese Funded Universe??? ME, MOTHERFUCKER.
So, yeah, I�m doing well in the class so far. It�s my ticket to get a real job that has full time benefits and then I plan to go back to school finally and get my psychology degrees (all the way up to masters, already halfway through bachelor�s). I can�t wait. I plan on finishing this stuff before my first child is out of middle school (she's ending 2nd grade this month). So, then I can kick ass in life and give the rest of the growing up time and quality of life to my children finally before they hit high school and really need a parent to brag about. Oh, I�m also doing it cuz that�s what I want to do. Not just for the money. The Government Cheese thing is just for the money. But, they know that. They provide the classes for that reason. Cuz they�d rather pay for seven months of classes than five more years of food stamps. You know? I don�t blame them.
What else? What else? I finished a book called Augusta, Gone. It was good. The author is called Martha Tod Dudman. She�s not bad. She wrote another book that I plan on reading. I have other books from the library that are renewed until the 17th, but I think they I will not be finished reading them, cuz they are just not �substance� or quality books like I like. If I can�t really get into it, then I�m not going to like it. If it�s a weak read, it�s hard for me to finish. Most of the books I checked out this time were under the subject of single motherhood and time management. I don�t know what I was thinking. Those subjects are particularly boring and pish-posh and redundant. Yeah. I think I�m just going to return most of them and try to speed read the few that I still am interested in.
I had other things to say�that�s not uncommon for me. To open up a new entry and sit and wonder what the hell I was going to say. Oh, at work�I doubt they�ll let me go full time cuz if they catch on, they�ll realize that I�ve been sitting there reading and playing computer games all day and just sitting there checking my email and not having any work to do. When I do get work, I finish within 20 minutes or so. Really, I don�t collect enough hours to be full time, but I want a thick and chunky paycheck these days, so I sit at my desk and waste time until it�s time to leave or go to school, etc. Oh well. I want to work at the court administration offices. I applied for two jobs there. I could handle that. A bunch of typing. Feeling important. Having the healthcare and benefits. Working fast and feeling needed. I hope I get hired at one of them.
Mediocre. Mediocre. This entry is mediocre. I hear people running down the hallway to their door, which is right across the hall from me (apartment living). It�s annoying. But I know it�s never for my door. So, I�m not bothered too much by it. God, I can�t believe my computer is finally not just a browser window. They closed Gateway down and so I don�t know where I�m going to get my computer updated. I still want to fix the fact that my speakers and printer are not acknowledged through my hard drive. I also want to fix the color settings so that I have more than the 16-color bit option. It�s so lame that it�s like that. Sucks ass. One day soon I�ll fix it. July is a 3-paycheck month. Exciting, huh? I know, it�s May now. If I�m not working at the law firm by then, I don�t know if it will be a 3-paycheck month or not. I do know that I�m going to ask for full time anyway, cuz the bosses are going on vacation soon for almost two months and I�m going to be stuck once again with Memorial Day screwing me for closing the office and screwing me out of hours for the whole day and then again on July 5th I hear they are closing the office. Ho hum. I have to go now. This entry is big enough. More later. Bye for now.
