2004-03-30 - 9:46 p.m.
Things I am perturbed about right now...
(I'm not numbering these, so deal with it.)
I am a single mother of 3 children that do not like to brush their teeth whatsoever. When I tell them to brush their teeth, they become idle until we run out of time and I forget to "follow-up" on their progress...and they leave the house with bad breath and developing cavities.
My skin has become excessively oily in some parts, and excessively dry in other parts...I am getting old skin. I have wrinkles AAAAAAND zits. Oily buildup AND eczema patches.
I met a boy...he's cute and nice and GOOD. However, there is never the right time to hang out with the boy, so it's eating away at my self-esteem and insecurities...even though he really is busy, but my stupid mutated brain thinks he hates me. My brain perturbs me.
I am the Duck Police. I try with all of my might to protect the ducks by the lake. I don't think anyone cares like I do. I just don't want animals to get hurt or bothered. ESPECIALLY, if they are maternal animals...like ducks sitting on eggs...and those fucking bratty-ass kids come up and bother the fuck out of them until you just can see it plain as frigging day, cuz the duck is grabbing onto the kids shoe with its "teeth"/beak trying to protect its eggs. Where the fuck is the kids' mothers anyway??? Little bratty fucking kids. I don't raise kids like that. My kids are part of the duck police brigade.
I neeeeeed, and am dying to write. I just don't have time or make time. I'm so insecure that I want to be liked and admired first and foremost, but don't do anything interesting or make any time to do anything for myself that is interesting, so then I have nothing to talk or write about...so...where the hell am I going with this?
I annoy myself.
I feel like I annoy others.
Maybe I need that Zoloft stuff.
I just want that guy to come over and hang out with me so I can touch his face and talk to him without any kids listening to me and sit and smile and laugh and joke...and HUG goodbyyyyyyyee....oh god. I'm looooooonelyyyyyyyy.
