2001-03-25 - 02:01 p.m.
Wow! So many new things here at Diaryland!
ANYWAY...about ME.
So, I really need to hang out with my best friend more often cuz she's soooo funny. For some reason, aside from that last sentence, I keep picturing myself in the future as if my life is going to take a different route and I will live somewhere in a place of my own and be child-free and be able to be interesting, creative and independent. What's up with that? I have three kids and am in a relationship, how am I going to be childless, single, and young again without some weird amnesia attack after some across-state-lines abduction? I'm in dreamland.
Oh, look...they finally fixed the real time on the diary entries. Isn't that belated.
So, I'm probably going to try to like maybe go back to school this coming fall, I think. I really sound sure of myself, I know. I have to give a bunch of blow jobs first, though. Okay, just kidding. However, I was previously suspended, so I will have to have an advising appointment with my major's advisor lady...THEN I have to submit this "letter" to some "board" of the OFFICE OF ADMISSIONS...AND I have to fill out a "please-accept-me-after-being-suspended" application...**ROLL EYES HERE** THEN, I suppose I have to sit and wait until they accept me back in. THEN I'm going to of course need to fill out paperwork out my ass for financial aid, pick classes, obtain books somehow (cuz they never give you the money ON TIME when you need to get the books, they always do this two week later thing, so you have to bounce a check to get your books, or fall immediately two weeks behind in your reading assignments--your choice), then obtain childcare for the two kids that won't be in kindergarten yet. Yippee.
I have a kink in my neck that won't go away.
I've been reading a lot. Books that I have read that I recommend: THE EVIL THAT MEN DO by somebody, HEARTS IN ATLANTIS by Stephen King, THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON by Stephen King, THE GREAT GATSBY by what's-his-face, WE WERE IN AUSCHWITZ by a few Polish heroes, ...what were the other ones? I know I read more. I try to read as much as I can. I NEED to read as much as I can. It's my escape.
So, I'm still trying to add my notify list. (Duh.) I will manage to do it one of these days.
What else has happened? Nothing much.
My boyfriend got that metal out of his arm. He has been doing physical therapy. He's making a lot of improvement. THANK GOD, cuz he's really driving me fucking crazy and he needs to go back to work now, so I can go online and read whenever the hell I want to. I need to be left the fuck alone or I wilt like a dried out potted plant. Didn't you know? I'm an introvert who doesn't like to explain my every move. Last night, he told me I have been treating him like he's in my hair all the time. I said, "Well, you HAVE BEEN!" Er. Jesus God. I mean, don't fucking talk to me when I am in the kitchen, don't come looking for me when I go into the bathroom, don't remind me that there is something cooking on the goddamn stove, don't try to wake me up unless the baby can't possibly wait another hour to be fed, don't ask me if I'm going to sleep all day, and don't treat me like I'm your goddamn fucking LOST AND FOUND. Yes, tee hee, you have been in my hair. Haven't you noticed? I. HAVE.
The stress can be unbelievable sometimes. If you ever question why housewives resort to alcholism or drug addiction (not me, honestly), re-read the above paragraph. Duh. And my children are really very cute. My boy is now almost 8 months (2 more days), my oldest will be five and will soon be going to kindergarten (how many times will I mention that?), and my three and a half year old, well, she's three and a half. That is a "stage" that occurs. It's called reversion in three and a half year olds. Lucky me. I repeat requests six times a minute. She stares right through me. Rarely answers me when I ask questions. Drives me motherfucking crazy. Skips whole meals. And wonders why her tummy hurts. Sigh. She complains that her legs hurt her usually just when I ask her to clean her room. They never seem to hurt while she's sitting on the couch watching cartoons. Whatever. She really is very beautiful...but I seriously apathize with people who oopsy-daisy beat their three year olds to death. Not the fucking weird ones who abuse all their children for years. Just the ones who all of a sudden lose control. I would never do it...but, I understand how it could occur. Trust me, send that child to any other average household and I doubt she'd last two weeks. I am a very patient person and am able to avoid her a lot. I DIDN'T SAY NEGLECT. I said avoid. You'll understand if you ever have kids. If you're good, you'll understand without having to have them. I feel like I should invite the teenagers and young newlyweds from my neighborhood over for some pregnancy prevention therapy. I would make a killing and win many awards for my outreach work. All they would have to do is spend sporadic moments out of any given set of days in my household while we were all home and just living our normal day-to-day lives. THE END.
