2000-09-23 - 03:34:56
I want to tell my daughter sometimes that we just don't click. But, she would not yet understand. She wasn't exactly planned or expected. But, then again, who is? She is the middle child. She has her own entry in my diary titled Chloe Jayne. She is beautiful and it appears that she is going to grow up into a very voluptuous woman. HOWEVER...we just don't click. Ever since she was born, she was a screamer. If she gets her feelings hurt, she will cry and it has a scream tone to it. If she gets physically hurt, she screams/cries. It's exhausting. It's very dramatic, too. She is just way too oversensitive. And, see, I just don't get along with those type of people. Daughter or not. It's hard to accept her for how she is and how she behaves. She also is at the "deaf stage" of toddlerhood. I say things to her, which I have to repeat about ten times later because she ignores me or acts like it doesn't apply to her. My mom is taking my daughters tomorrow and keeping them overnight until Sunday. Thank the Lord. I can only take so much. I needed a break, terribly. I just can't give Chloe the love she needs right now. I get very easily annoyed with her. She's just too whiney and demanding at times. I know it has to be her age. She will be three at the end of this month. But, I just look at her, and my impatience keeps rising. Zero tolerance for the child. I can't wait until she goes to grandma's. My other daughter is going with her, but, her I get along with very well. As for my son, well, I took him to the doctor yesterday, and my friend kept the girls in the waiting room while I took him in to see the nurse, etc. And, let me tell you, it was sweet bliss just to be able to sit alone with just him and cuddle without having other children hanging off me or reaching for him. I wish we could have our own house sometimes. Just me and the baby. I wonder if my boyfriend would take care of my daughters while I was away.
