2000-09-09 - 02:06:13
My friend sits around most of the day watching TV when she isn't at work and thinks of stuff that we laugh at later. I think of stuff when the TV isn't on, usually when I'm staring at the wall and trying to make the children just STOP singing. I named my daughters Stephanie and Chloe cuz I thought they were real cute and pretty names. Well, now they walk around and call each other CeeCee and Felina. Sometimes Felina is Verbankta. I've gotten over that. What I'm trying to continue ignoring as successfully as I have ignored their dumb re-names are the songs they sing. Usually the four year old is busy looking at her reflection in the sliding glass door and belting out the same lame-ass melody she has made up to drive me to drink, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I can't wait to get my I.U.D. I hope my son doesn't grow up singing dumb songs like this...here's an example: "I WANNA GO WITH YOU...I WANNA GO WITH YOU, I DON'T WANNA DO IT, I DON'T WANNA DO IT..." (Repeat 10,000 times an hour.) But, what it really sounds like, is: "I WANNA GO WISH-OO..." Cuz, that's just how she pronounces it. I try like hell not to scream for her to shut the fuck up, cuz, she might take it the wrong way. So, anyway, when I'm zoning out and she's singing that song, I stare at the birds in the yard that I throw bread out to every now and then when I finally let it mold. And I saw the funniest thing...there was a couple doves, a blue jay, some blackbirds, some brown thing, and then all of a sudden, the red-headed woodpecker flew down to join them. Now, I've heard that damn thing tapping on our storm pipe thing that's on the side of the roof for the rain, but, I know it's not ALWAYS stupid, cuz I've seen them in the trees, too. But, now, I've confirmed that they are lazy. Cuz, everyone knows that woodpeckers eat bugs, they get them out of the trees that they tap like crazy. That's what's in there...bugs and worms. Well, this one flew down and ate moldy bread off the ground. It chomped it right up. Now, if that isn't lazy, I don't know what is. I know how it feels though. Cuz, tapping to them is like cooking for me. It's actually having to work to eat. I've resorted to expired yogurt and 3 week old apples before. Just so I didn't have to thaw meat out. Today, I went into the grocery money and bought two large pizzas. Oh well. At least it wasn't moldy.
