2000-07-09 - 05:39:08
I totally had a mood swing tonight on the phone with my best friend Realchild. But, she was there for me. I mean, that mood swung from a vine all the way across some rainforest in the Amazon. It was a shitty desperate moment. It was over the ugly reality that is my life. It happened because I realized that my life just sucks at different intervals and I'm always the last person to actually admit it or realize it.
Oh, and why didn't anyone tell me that Scream (the first one) was such a goddamn good little movie and that I should never have watched it alone in my house when I'm going to have to leave the door unlocked on the side so my boyfriend can get in who does not have a key?
Back to my life sucking...when will I be happy? I mean the kind of happy that doesn't have all those regrets and guilt included in it? I know that is deep and sappy, but, I hate realizing I made grave mistakes and that if I wanted to do anything to change my life or if and when I need to change my life that it's going to be such a pain in the ass to sort out all the details and fend for myself. Fuck! I need a winning lottery ticket. I guess I'm the only shallow one around who is obsessed with money so much so that there seems to be no screwy light at the end of the tunnel unless I have a winning lottery ticket in hand.
