2005-05-14 - 5:15 p.m.
Well, I really seriously and truly broke up with him. I changed the locks on my door. I kicked his ass out and them smutted my own name by finally admitting to all the times I cheated on him while he was in jail for seven months, once upon a time three years ago. But you know what? We weren't married, and he was IN JAIL FOR SEVEN MONTHS. So, really, it wasn't cheating. And I was young. I needed the money. Haha.
So, I can be a new woman if I choose to be, but right now I hate men. I need to work out. I need to make more money. We will see how my life turns out.
Oh, and do you believe? I gave him that seedy information about me dating other guys whilst he was in jail so he wouldn't want me back anymore and wouldn't manipulate me into thinking he would change, etc. What does he do? He calls me this morning illegally, from detox, saying that he wants to work shit out when he gets out. So help me goddess, what a creepy jerk. I don't want to work anything out with him. I told him too. I also added that I don't want to be around for the next fuckup or mishap or whatever you'd like to liken his addiction to. I don't have time or patience to grow old and as poor as he's made me. I hate him now.
Sighhh. I'm at the library right now. I have tons of books to read at home. I promised myself I wouldn't check out anymore books until I finished all of the ones I had already.
School's going to be out soon. That will be a little bit easier in getting up in the morning. They can wear shorts and not fight over jeans and stuff. There won't be any backpacks to remember.
I have to mention, even though it's a boring subject, and quite the DOY subject, that there are many pros to Jimbo being gone, daddy, gone. For one, he can't eat all of my food. Two, he can't leave all of my lights and TV on all night. Three, I can read as much as I want. And four, if I'm poorer than poor, I'll know it's not because any household member has blown money on drugs. Getting money from him for child support will be an entirely different story. His one friend even told me that he'll never grow up. And this is a friend who technically is grown up more than Jimbo will ever be.
Anyway, my children are looking for me now. Oh, now they're not.
Jimbo's mom asked me to bring all of his crap down to her house since the detox was closer to her than it is to me and I reminded her that her son gave me NO money this week and that I didn't have the gas money to come all the way down there. She hasn't called me back since. But one of the things he mentioned this morning while talking to me was that he would probably get out of where he was today. I hate him. I wish he would stay away from me.
