2004-09-07 - 12:59 p.m.
I am so tired. And I still didn�t copy my homework from Tammy�s (I had all weekend). Duh. It�s given to me on a silver platter and I just keep on flaking. Now I have many pages/chapters overdue. I look like a bad student.
But I studied other things this weekend. This book I read, that I always made fun of before (until I read it). I thought it had nothing to do with me. It�s the WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH book. It�s about women that �keep wishing and hoping he�ll change�...it is me right on cue. But I finished that book and another book about �Bailing Out� (of unsatisfying/unhealthy relationships) which that�s what it�s actually called. I need a vacation from everything where I can just lie in bed and read. Anyway, they were both very good books and made a lot of sense about the situation that I�m ending right now. I can�t ever go back to Jimbo. I get caught up in waiting for him to change. I obsess about why he hasn�t changed yet. He�s not going to change. Not with me around. I see that now. It�s been almost 5 years and he�s just not going to change. He hasn�t yet. And now he has all these NEW problems with a negative checking account and writing bad checks that are going to get turned into the State Attorney�s office. Yeah, I don�t want to hang around for that. That�s chaotic. He also has new jail time to do, new charges, warrants for his arrest, etc. HE�S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. Sad, but true.
I feel so much better about things today. I feel stronger and more self-reliant. I see who has been paying my rent for the last several months. ME. I�ve been saying for a long time that I want to be able to pay my bills without a man�s help. VOILA. I�ve BEEN doing that. I just failed to give myself credit for it. I have to take payday loans out every now and again, but so what. I am relying on my own powers. Yes, I�d really appreciate the child support to be current, but until then, I�m not going to lie down and die. No, not I. I will survive. Kmmm.
I�m still so tired today. Tonight I start my milder depression pills. Yes, I�ve been prescribed pills. It probably helped me to break up with Jimbo better than if I wasn�t on any medication.
I got extra food stamps again. Yay. I can always use those. I�m also being more careful not to buy crap at convenience stores. I go into debt by doing that. A dollar a day is thirty bucks. But you know damn well, I spend way more than a dollar.
The hurricane didn�t do much to our area this time. It had weakened anyway, thankfully. Now Ivan is coming. I bet he comes right for us (like Charley). It was kinda funny about Frances how they evacuated the whole east coast, right? And so everyone came over to Naples which is south of me. So then on the news the next thing you know, since Frances had such a big fat ass, they were coordinating the hurricane to probably come to our area too as well as the whole frigging state. It did both of these things but it had weakened and such. But after all those people came to Naples, they were announcing bus routes for evacuation shelters in Naples. Funnai. Well, not that funny. But it reminds me of the movie Jaws. How they�re all like, okay, you�ll be safe over HERE. And then everyone is HERE and the shark comes anyway. Yeah. Like Jaws.
Well, I�m going to go for now. I have to run errands. I can�t remember what they are right now though. Oh, I have a couple books on hold at the library. Plus, I need to go get my school book that is at home, cuz school is tonight. I forgot, alriiiiight??? It feels like Monday. Doy. I was supposed to do something else though. My memory is failing me. Hmmm. Well, of course I have to eat cuz it�s lunch time. Oh, I was going to try to drop stuff off at the Salvation Army. I don�t know if I have time for all that though. What else???? I don�t know. I think I�m going to go online and put more books on hold. What fun.
http://leecoipac.leegov.com:8080/ipac20/ipac.jsp?session=10945IP801H84.4068&profile=hip&uri=full=1100001@!453282@!28&ri=18&aspect=basic_search&menu=search&source=10.10.10.44@!hip&ipp=20&staffonly=&&aspect=basic_search&menu=search&ri=18#focus Ohmigod. I totally put this book on hold. Kmmm. Judge Judy is so crazai. I really like the title. M�bien.
Oh, and I remember what else I was supposed to do. I need to go get a printout from the pharmacy about my prospective prescription payments per month. Cuz I need to convince my insurance to get their act together and pay for my pills. That would be sooper neat if they felt sorry for me and recalculated everything that I have been paying for for these last few months and then they reimbursed me. SWEET. Yeah, right.
