2004-08-02 - 5:02 p.m.
This was from July 29th. The site was bogged down with activity...
You�d think SOMEWHERE I�d get "cut some slack." But that�s not a benefit available to me as a poverty-stricken white single mother of three. Now, you may think I am ungrateful, which sometimes I AM. But seriously now. My caseworker called me last night and left a message saying she had to drop "some Wal-Mart gift cards" off for each of my children. I�m thinking...$20? No, it�s gotta be $10. And that seems like a righteous thing for them to do, give up $10 of the state�s hard-earned Jeb Bush money for back to school supplies...what does that cover a couple boxes of tissues?
Anyway, I finally got a hold of her today and she said she could bring them by my work. I asked her how much they were for. She said $200. I was like, wow for all the kids? And she said no, for EACH kid there was $200. I started fantasizing of toilet paper and cold medicine and gas at the Wal-Mart gas pumps...AS WELL AS school supplies and clothes. I could swing it. I would totally have enough for all of that. I mean, what are their clothes like $4.99? NO. She said that NO, I could ONLY buy school supplies and clothes. Well, at least I know how I�m going to get the printer paper that Stephanie�s class requested. But still. Why can�t I get gas? I DRIVE THEM TO the school. Duh. I was a little irritated, and she could tell. You can always tell when I�m irritated...it leaks out of my every pore and crevice.
She said no gas, no food, nothing except for what she "wrote it for." Oh, so, like it was her generous offer and idea to get state money for my kids for the tax break week. I think not. Don�t take so much credit, sister. Sigh. She said I could come as close as I wanted to get to $200. HA! I�m totally milking them. But I can�t lie and pretend that I did get the school supplies and back to school clothing and instead get some other things, cuz they want to see RECEIPTS. Looks like Stephanie can have her $16 pair of jeans she wanted a few weeks ago there. Too bad they don�t have their periods yet. I could finally have tampons. Oh, yeah, I�m down to two tampons and at home I use wash rags. Don�t tell anybody. But this period was only allotted five tampons for the week. I�m kinda deprived right now. I could say that they are for science experiments for the third graders this year. No, really, see? (Penciled in) there�s tampons right on their school supply list! Honest!
My food stamps are almost gone too. And I won�t get anymore until the 8th of next month. Bummer.
My rent is going to be due and I have no extra money coming in, and when I go to the doctor today (for my sinus infection and my overly swollen lymph glands) and they give me prescriptions, I�m going to have to take another payday advance out JUST FOR the prescriptions and the lack of rent that I am going to have on tomorrow�s paycheck. M�bien.
My ever-loving child support order that I was so proud of a couple weeks ago...I can�t remember if I mentioned it but I finally went to court and had a hearing about money being yanked out of Jimbo�s paycheck and I was so excited...and then that�s when he missed everyday but one day and then I guess his boss gave him an ultimatum and he went to work the next week and then this past Tuesday, he stayed home and his boss held strong to the ultimatum of if "you�re not going to show up, then don�t come back." So, now, Jimbo got fired and the pay deduction order is now obsolete for that job. Oh, yes, he�s still OBLIGATED to pay the support but it will not be conveniently yanked out of his paycheck like I needed it to be. Fucker. So, I told him, "well, when the little papers come in the mail asking you to send in support, will you please just do that?" He said he would but his word to me is not very promising, cuz in case you never knew: DRUG ADDICTS CAN�T PROMISE ANYTHING. Now, he�s going to be working under the table. UGH. I HATE THIS.
To help me out (not by his choice) and because he could get arrested again, Joel (my daughters� father) has been sending in some mediocre payments of child support. $35 here and there, but they have been fairly (and surprisingly) consistent these last few weeks. My best friend and I got excited cuz he was actually paying it and we couldn�t believe it, right? Well, this week�s check was $10.00. Yep. that�s what, $5 for each kid? What is he thinking? He�s so lame.
I wish I could go to the doctor right frigging now. My lymph glands are so swollen and I can barely swallow. My ear is started to bother me too. Even my face is swollen from the nasty swelling that is going on with all of my throat glands. I wonder what they can prescribe for that sort of thing. Hmmm. I bet I get those WIREDness-inducing decongestants. I�ll finally have the motivation to clean my house then.
Well, THIS JUST IN: Jimbo missed work again today. He will not swear to God for his reasons as to why, he only "promised" that he "must have turned off the alarm" and that Jeff, his roommate, "thought" he left last night and wasn�t around in the morning to catch his ride with his new guy he�s working with (Tom). Sorry, but that is total bullshit. First of all, I know Jeff would have no qualms about knocking on Jimbo�s door or turning on a light in Jimbo�s room to check and see if he was getting up for his ride to work. I know for a fact that a person like Jeff would make that extra effort. Sorry, but Jeff can�t be a total idiot. If Jeff "thought that Jimbo left the night before" then Jimbo probably left the night before, to do drugs no doubt. I have no one to ask or no one to check up on him with so I�ll never know. All I know is that he is quite possibly a big fat liar and I can�t stand it. It�s completely retarded. All I say to him anymore is to go to meetings and call his NA people on his list of phone numbers that he has. It�s just swell that he will have very little money for his payday this week and so even if I wanted to ask him for money for prescriptions or school supplies or gas for my car...he is a loser and won�t fucking have enough to give me. I hate this. Why can�t I release the need to be poor? Kmmm. Louise L. Hay. Or rather, Louise El Hay, El Conquistador. Kmmm. Bye for now.
