2004-06-30 - 6:05 p.m.
Well, I�m a mess. I went to see about counseling and my first appointment will be on August fucking dickweed 6th. Can you believe it? I mean, can you really believe it? I think I should have an appointment way sooner than that. I mean, SOMEONE needs to call Roger Dillman and get me a sooner appointment.
The lady that �consulted� with me said that there is special counseling for people who grow up in alcoholic/addictive households and who later on become associated in a relationship, i.e., marry, etc., where the other partner is alcoholic or addictive. I told her they would just refer me to Ala-non. She said that she would tell them to not just do that, that I needed one-on-one special type counseling. I got really excited about that sort of thing existing and she said she would call the addiction services agency in the area to make sure they had it. Well, no, they don�t have that special type of counseling. This is not the area where she heard about that anyway. Dammit. So, then she said she was able to get referral for a group that meets...I finished her sentence for her with all the information...meets on Monday nights with Dr. ____________. Sorry, TRIED that. First of all, it�s at 6 p.m., no daycare is provided, I can�t take my kids. Second of all, I seriously tried that already and didn�t feel comfortable talking about anything at all in a setting like that because people are there more to just get a clinical approach. Plus, they are all in different stages of their relationship or �living� with their addicts, etc. Most of them are parents. She pointed out: �But, you�re a parent, too.� NO. LADY. I MEANT A PARENT OF THE ADDICT. That�s a totally different relationship. Sorry. But people (counselors) approach that sort of relationship differently too. No one in any of the agencies I�ve approached feel like they should support the fact that I am with a person like that. Well, sorry, but I�ve known and loved and cared about him since I was 13, we have a son together and I�m just not going to dump everything at the end of the road and walk away. It�s just silly. Plus, if I were to just dump him I�d be a single mother of three. I�ve seen him in his normal stages of life without being all cracked out and I know he is a really wonderful person. We are very good together and he actually wants to stop. That�s not the only thing I talked about with her. But when a counselor is approached, they don�t think Freudian theories are relevant anymore. I think Freudian theories mean a lot. But, counselors nowadays think the PRESENT TIME is what�s most important. Sorry, buddy. It�s a big fat dick of a mixture of relevance that counselors need to focus on. Sighhhhhhh.
