2004-05-19 - 10:03 p.m.
Well, I was finishing up my lunch break...the first one I've taken for awhile. (I have been sitting patiently at my desk everyday, lately, waiting for the end of my shift to come, trying to get extra hours because I leave slightly early for school two nights a week.) So, I came home to eat some leftovers and o.d. on cranberry juice and water, because a bladder infection is surely and trustily starting. After I was home an hour and a half, WAY longer than I'm supposed to be if I want to make good money on my paycheck, there is a knock on the door. It is FPL. That is the electric company for Floridians. Gee, what a surprise, he requires an obscene amount of money or else he has to disconnect my power. I knew it was coming...but not before payday. TWO DAYS before payday. So, naturally I tell him that I don't have it. He regrets to inform me that he will have to disconnect. I quickly turn the air to 69 degrees and shut my computer down knowing he still has to climb back down the stairs. My air jets out freezing cold air for approximately 56 seconds before the apartment shuts down as far as electricity is concerned...he walks fast. Now, you know now that I must have gotten it re-connected, since I'm home at night on my electricity-needing computer, but what's the fun without the story of how I did that?
Well, I had no money at all. I brainstormed with my boyfriend over the phone, who is in his own financial crises these days. He said to go to a payday advance place, since my payday is two days away and that is how I would have paid it anyway, durh. So, I brainstorm back at him that I might as well just get a title loan. So, I go to the title loan place that says in big letters out front on their sign AUTO LOANS, INC. cuz that's their name and everything. They informed me that they don't do that anymore. They stopped doing mere title loans two days ago. Even when their sign says in BIG letters: AUTO LOANS, INC. What the fuck? So did another place.
The only way or procedure that they do any money lending is writing a check over to them including the fees. I don't have any checks on me. I don't carry checks. I don't use them. I'm a checkcard/VISA kinda girl. Or cash. Which I had none of today, OBVIOUSLY. Besides, I tried to look for checks recently, within the last few days, and my children have hidden the few that I had from me, and they won't admit to where the hell they put them.
MEANWHILE...don't forget, I have a bladder infection starting. I'm still gulping my cranberry juice in my hot car without the A/C. My nerves are giving me acid stomach and the cranberry juice is just blessing this stomach action. Say no to acid. I also finish my water bottle during that time somehow...and the places I happen to go to have no bathroom and we all know, you shouldn't hold it while you have a bladder infection.
The lady at the auto loans place told me I could go to my bank and get "counter" checks, whatever they are. I told her I didn't have time for that. I went to a pawn shop to see if they had any insight and they told me to go back out and up on the right I'd see AUTO LOANS, INC.....LIARS!!! I told them my recent plight and they were confused too. "But, their sign..." Yeah, I know, RIIIIIGHT???
So, I break down driving around in the fucking heat, and I say just that. I can't stop cussing and the fucking heat just makes me cuss worse. I break down realizing I just bought food last night at the grocery store with my precious food stamps and I need to do SOMETHING to turn the damn electricity back on. I go to the bank. An old guy cuts in front of me, I want to break open his skull. NOBODY is going before me when my car has no A/C. By this time, I was inside, cuz they couldn't give me checks through the drive-thru, but even though I was inside already in the air/cond., it didn't fucking matter, cuz my body was still overheating from the outside. I live in Fort Myers, Florida, YOU read the fucking weather reports.
So, I insisted that I was before the stupid old man. His cane didn't even make me bend. No way. So, I explain to the lady about the checks, we discuss overdraft protection which is good to know for next time...the smallest loan they have is $500, NO thanks. ESPECIALLY if there is a credit wait. I tell her the "starter" checks will do, even though the other people called them "counter" and so I'm on my way out into the hot streets once again. I had once again, forgotten to pee. Durh. I go and get my payday advance again. Go and pay the damn bill, and THEN some, and go back to work. My lunch "hour" had been stretched out into about three and a half hours. I'm so screwed now. I won't get paid for Memorial Day either...which is on the same pay period.
So, no, I haven't done anything about my bladder infection except increase the cranberry juice intake. Which makes me want to puke cuz of all the acid. My stomach is usually a good organ for me, but when I feed it too much of something, it lets me know how foolish that is to do.
I started reading "Peace Like a River." Not bad. I think I'm a little past page 50. I'm so tired now that my melatonin has kicked in. What else has been going on? I've been very poor, the house is very very very dirty and cluttered with shit. I renewed my lease for seven more months (December). I'm still in my class. It takes up a lot of my time. I got a 100% on the last test. I'm a medical terminology whiz.
OH, the caseworker came over Monday...and before she came over of course, she called, and I'm like, "gee, I usually workout on nights I'm not at school..." and she's all, "well, uh, Heather, you HAVE to make a SACRIFICE. You know, it's near the end of the month, and I have to see the children." UH. YEAH. I'VE SACRIFICED ENOUGH FUCKING SHIT FOR THOSE PEOPLE. I'VE SACRIFICED EVERYFUCKINGTHING, BITCH. So, I gave in anyway, and now I was lazy tonight when I should have worked out, but I let my kids play at the park instead and read my book. Plus, I'm pretending that a bladder infection is going to go away by itself if I just not work out and sit and read and drink cranberry juice. I'm SOOO in denial.
I'm close to getting counseling. I need it. I need to get my other prescription for my synthroid too. I'm all ate up. I just couldn't afford it though. Now, I can. What else? Oh, Medicaid pays for dental work for kids...but none of the dentists around here take Medicaid. Isn't that so fucking sensible and convenient??? Yeah, I fucking thought so, too. So, meanwhile, Stephanie needs some cavities double-checked and possibly filled...and I'm trying to reconnect my electricity. No, I have dental insurance for them, but the "co-pay" is astronomical. They said they "think" this one dentist is going to accept kids Medicaid in August. Um...Stephanie barely brushes her teeth...her cavities are only going to get worse. I get zero child support from her father. So fucking convenient. Anyway...more later. That's all for now. I'm not checking for typos.
